Is Being Vegan a Commitment I’m Willing to Make?

I think one of the hardest parts about being vegan is the knowledge that I’ll have to give up some things forever.  I mean, can I really go my whole life without a Pizza Hut pizza ever again?  Will I never eat turkey at Thanksgiving?  Will I never have a hamburger again in my whole life, not even one hot off the grill?  I’m not good at swearing off things forever.  In fact, I never want things more than immediately after I swear I’ll never have them again.  So, going totally vegan is really a challenge for my rebellion and my gluttony.

Grilled Cheese is one of the hardest foods to go without. Is it possible that Daiya Vegan Cheese can fill the void?

On the other hand, going totally vegan will also help me never have some other things again, and to those, I’ll gladly bid adieu.  I would not mind never having to try on a bathing suit and choke back tears as I look at myself in the mirror like I did two springs ago.  I stood there under those fluorescent lights and felt like a blob.  (I started moving toward a plant-based, whole food diet immediately after this shopping trip.)

Once years ago, I was at a pretentious store in the mall, and the sales clerk approached me and asked, “Are you depressed because you can’t find anything in your size?”  (No lie.  She actually said that to me.   The first words out of her mouth.)  It was one of those stores where they stock a half a rack of size XS and maybe 2 XLs.  You know the clerks all bad mouth the two people that buy the XLs.   Even though I hate those overpriced stores and their low rise pants, I’d like to be able to pull something off the rack and look good in it anyway.  (I won’t buy it though until I’m sure none of those snotty bitches get commission.)

These women belong at the mall. I am not one of these women.

I’m really tired of looking fat in pictures and video.  Since I’ve been “going vegan,” my mental image and my photographic image are starting to look the same.  I used to look at myself in pictures and think, Please tell me I don’t really look that fat in real life!  Lately, that hasn’t been so bad, and I’d like to keep it that way.

I’d like never again to pass by a reflective window and feel the need to suck in my stomach.

I’d like it if I were to never again get distracted by my pot belly during sex.  Is that TMI?  Sorry, too late.

There are some less traumatic things that I could avoid by being totally vegan.  For instance, when I’m vegan, I don’t get that over-stuffed, lethargic feeling after meals.  I don’t have to unbutton my pants surreptitiously at my desk after lunch because my food is sitting in my belly like a rock. I don’t have to worry about poisoning my loved ones with chicken germs on the cutting board.

Really, I won't mind saying goodbye to dead animal parts all over my kitchen.

I don’t get blood on my hands shopping for meat at the grocery store.   I have tons more energy.  My skin is better when I’m vegan.  (No woman should have to alternate between wrinkle cream and acne treatment! I’m 38 for Pete’s sake.)

Nevertheless, I have to admit, I am loathe to say I will never have something ever again in my life.  I guess this is where folks would recommend I take things one day at a time.  I should worry less, and by less I mean not at all, about what I’m going to eat at Disney World this summer, and I should just focus on making the best choices I can right now.  Later, if I’m dying to have something, I might.  I’ll just make a deal with myself that I won’t regress unless I absolutely need to for sanity.  And, if that day should come, I’ll eat only exactly what I’m craving—no grazing until I figure out what I want—and only the very least I need to be satisfied—no falling off the wagon and deciding to just flush the whole day and binge.

Good news--these can be vegan. There is lots of vegan junk food. I just have to be deliberate in my choices.

In the meantime, I’m going to continue to find new foods that I like and that make me feel good about what I’m eating, and I’m going to keep you posted on how it works out for me.

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